I CAN MOONWALK!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize