Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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