sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize