Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
