some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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