I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
