my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We left an ass print on the piano.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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