Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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