I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
