best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
