HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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