lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
