If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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