Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
