I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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