What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
