I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
