Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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