i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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