Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
