I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
