SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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