marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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