You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
