My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize