she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
