The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
