she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I have aggressive nipples.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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