great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
