just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
