so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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