I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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