So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
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Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
did i walk over a car last night?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
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It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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