i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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