You made me cry and you don't even care
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
