he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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