Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
