Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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