C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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