I'm eating all of the evidence.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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