I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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