Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize