yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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