I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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