We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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