You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
