Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
