Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
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