I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
