I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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