I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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