Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
