When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
